To the Dungeon with You or When Research Meets Real Life
Since I returned from the Naughty Sleepover, I have been doing two things 1. Trying to get over the nasty cold/flu/ghost plague I returned with as did several others I know of and 2. Processing the information gleaned from a suprise opportunity to visit a dungeon in the countryside outside San Antonio. I love writing BDSM, and take every chance to learn from those who live the lifestyle 24/7 but until now it has been mostly online or sitting chatting in hotel lounges, restaurants…heck even on airplanes. But for the first time, courtesy of Master Mike and his friends, I was able to observe what goes on in person.
I love to write relationships of all kinds, how people make things work between them in a world that is not always supportive of their choices. Menage, f/f, m/m….BDSM. None of this is new, people have always exercised their rights to care for one another in their own way. But often they must do it behind closed doors to avoid derision, persecution, even death. I usuallly think of BDSM in relationshiop terms, but I learned that night that sometimes flogging is just flogging. Or at least does not mean a long-term commitment. Several people took advantage of the opportunity to have leather straps laid across their backs or to have an electric massage. Because I am not any kind of exhibitionist, I prefer my experimentation in a more private environment than was afforded. No…I did not strip naked and fling myself across a spanking bench.
But a very kind Dom allowed me to go through his toy bag and ask questions. A sadist told me all about her favorite games with subs. I learned the difference between a pet and a slave. And I learned that all these things can take place in an old house in the country with a few pieces of dungeon furniture and a group of people who enjoy one another. While the visitors who chose to participate were welcomed, there was a big difference between their play and what I observed among the regulars. There, the affection shone through.
I am proud to live in a country where people can express their feelings and live their relationships in the ways they like. I know there are laws on the books in some states that make this lifestyle harder, but overall, I doubt there are many places in the world where people can be as open and free. Who knew a night in the dungeon would lead to a burst of patriotic spirits.